A Fresh Start.

It's funny how you have things planned out, and thats not how it happens. I had a few blog posts in my drafts that I am supposed to work on first, but eh, things happen and here's a post that isn't in the plan. I'm going to jump straight to the point. I've started a gofundme.

I feel bad even starting one in the first place, so anyone planning on leaving a negative comment; peace sign emoji out.

But, really, I know there is other gofundme's out there that need it way more than me. But i'm so passionate about my future mental health, and others, that I decided to do this. It's something that really means a lot to me. Whatever I don't use out of the money I want to donate to help others with their anxiety, and depression. Plus, if it goes over the goal, no matter what I will use that to donate. Now, I'm going to shut up and I'm going to a part of my bio from the gofundme on this post.

"I want to start making vlogs of my life to help people just like me to see that it's okay that this happens. You're not alone. To show the good times, and the bad, but mostly good to show others including myself; that there is so much to life to be happy about. You have to think of the little stuff, and I want to catch that little stuff on camera.

How this money that you donate, even if it's $5, will be used is to get better equipment to shoot these videos in high quality film-style to catch those little moments in a beautiful way. It's known that more high quality videos get more views on YouTube, and I would like to reach as many people as possible with this. 

Any extra money that I do not use, or any extra money donated will go towards ADAA (anxiety and depression assoication of america) to help the fight to end this. Also I would love to send everyone a thank you note for helping out!"

So there it is guys, if you would check it out that would be awesome. Here's the link to it, once again. If you aren't able to donate, sharing means the same to me. Thank you guys so much. 

Why I didn't enjoy working at Sephora (or retail.)

Every woman out there right now knows about Sephora or at least have heard about it. They bring awesome makeup products to their store by some brands that we all know and love. I love Sephora, and I always will, even though I didn't enjoy working there. I believe it takes a special kinda person to work there.

When I got called in for a interview for Sephora, I got overly excited. My boyfriend helped me practice sales skills, and interview skills. I was so excited it was unbelievable. There is so many people I knew personally that applied for Sephora and didn't even get a interview for here, and I did?! I looked at different outfits for the interview process, and was working hard for this every day. I still remember the day I interviewed; I went in around 4 pm and waited to be pulled back. It was a group interview and the two other girls were very awesome, and sweet. But I then felt very discourage because I felt like they fit the part better then me.

A few days later I got a call after calling in a few times to figure out if I got the spot or not. Then she told me I got it! I was so pumped, and ready to start. But I wasn't going to start for a couple days. I quit my other job, which I regret, because I wish I would of stayed. It's the job I truly love and enjoy. Once I started, it really started to go downhill from there.

Working at Sephora was a real experience and opened up my eyes to why people really don't like working in retail. I love people, and I love working with them, but gosh, people can get mean. I never really realized it till then. My coworkers were great, but they weren't people I could relate to, which sucks. I got hired on for how much I knew about products and my personality; but I really didn't feel like I fit in one bit with these people. 

I'm not here to bash on Sephora one bit, but i'm here to warn people that might think about working at Sephora, make sure you really want to do it. Don't work somewhere because you think it might be cool to brag to people that you work here, or don't do it if you have a gut feeling telling you not to, like I did. Sephora will always be one of my favorite places to shop, but not to work. To me personally, it's one of those places that will always be like that. 

Travel Sunday.

Hey you awesome person of the internet. I've decided that I want to post something to do with traveling on Sunday's. So guess what, i'm going to do that. These pictures are from when I went to Arkansas a couple weeks back! Enjoy!
P.S. These pictures are also featuring my stunning friend Sydney!

Is it just me?

I have this same thought every day.
Is it just me?

Sometimes in this big ol' world I feel like I'm the only one that feels certain ways about things. Even more so on things that don't fit the norm. I like change. Normally people hate it, they either want to stay at a job for a long time, or they want to keep holding on to pictures that are on their phone of them and their lovely ex. But nope, that's never been me.

I've been through a crap ton of jobs, I always want to move, I delete pictures of me and that ex as soon as those feelings are about to drop, and I change what I want to do for the rest of my life everyday. One day it's a doctor, the next it's a photographer. So what do you do if this is you? Well, actually, I'm here to tell you you're screwed.

You're screwed in the sense that no one is ever going to understand your judgement or your choices in life. You're not screwed in the sense that you're never going to be happy. The people that judge you for your choices, are the people that you shouldn't have around. It is your life, so at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter?

To keep yourself happy, experience the world. Take each day by day, stop planning for the future when me and you both know that it's going to change by tomorrow. Now, i'm not saying hope certain things will happen one day, i'm saying, plan out your day that you get to try something new once a day; or even twice! Whatever you fancy.

As for me, I'm more than likely never going to keep a long job (sorry mom, dad, and my boyfriend.) till I find something that gives me that change everyday that I need. I'm probably going to want to change where I live before a year is up, because let's face it, I like houses and the more awesome; the better. I'm also going to quit blogging, and YouTube every now and then, but I always come back to it better than ever. Moral of this story is, do whatever makes your heart race. Change or not, it's okay, and life is still going to be awesome for you. You just gotta make it that way.

Why people take breaks from blogging.

Well, aye. I feel like this happens more than it should. I forget to write, or never find the time for it which is odd because I adore to type out my thoughts. Things just get scary when you're putting yourself out on the internet, because it's like, who's really reading this anyways? What do they want to see me write about? Who am I marketing to?

Well the thing with me is, I get scared with commitment. I get scared with the fact that if you're running a blog, you have to sit down and post at least once a week to really keep people around. When you're first starting out, you don't get much engagement, and that can be really disappointing. You feel like you're writing to no one, which you kinda are. I remember when I got my first comment on my old blog, it was like christmas. I'm pretty sure I told everyone I saw that day. To those people, they were more than likely thinking "What the hell, I could care less. It's just some random person on the internet, they could be a 40 year-old man for crying out loud." But to me, it was like the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone cared about what I was writing.

Now, the person that is writing to you right now isn't really the biggest talker in real life anyways. I mostly don't voice my views on things, and I rather sit there and people watch than engage in whatever convo you people are having. So for me personally, when it comes to writing on here, it's a way for me to voice whatever is going on in this head of mine. I've wrote more in the blogging world then i've even told my closest friends.

My point of this post is that, people, including me, take breaks from blogging because they are scared of what is to come from it. Are you going to get that first comment? How long is it going to take? That's what goes through your mind daily. Well, I'm here to say that that is completely normal. To people that don't blog, or maybe even some that do, it's a walk in the park. But to people like you and me, it really isn't. Your anxiety kicks in every 5 seconds, then you don't write for 5 months because you don't have the motivation to do it.

Write anyways. Even if you don't post whatever you wrote, get it out. Eff the rules of how long a post needs to be so it will be read more, do whatever makes you happy and makes you smile at the end of the day. Your mental health, and happiness is what is most important and should come first. When you take care of yourself, you're able to get out in the world and take care of others.